Bare Burger: We're Holding Out Hope

With its creatively utilitarian decor and lively colors, Bare Burger has opened its doors and sent Astoria aflutter just as the mercury began to rise this season.  Now the votes are rolling in and the verdict....well, it's decidedly mixed.  

Accusations of dry meat patties are met with proclamations of juicy, tender burgers.  While we're sure the debate will continue as the dog days of summer march onward, Bare Burger seems to be churning out tasty but less than spectacular sliders.  The lamb burger was flavorful but didn't sing like Sparrow's bifteki or other carnivorous concoctions around Astoria.  Even with an unholy mixture of curry ketchup and dill mayo, the ostrich burger never rose above the level of good...ish.  The interior is funky and a much appreciated break from the typical sidewalk cafe scene but it's tough to eat decor.  Always gets stuck in the teeth.

There's little doubt that Bare Burger has the creativity, resources and enthusiastic clientele to put this little corner of 31st Ave. and 34th St. on the map.  However, if they're looking for neighborhood domination, improvement is called for.  Better customer service, closer attention paid to rare-medium-well-done requests and a stronger focus on side items should set this hang out on the right path to burger enlightenment.  We'll check back with the juggling bear mid-summer to see if nirvana beckons.  

Linn: Inauspicious Beginnings

Vintage film buffs and fans of sculptural wall fixtures will feel at home in Linn's whitewashed interior.  The ceiling's gently sloping corners evoke origami creations and the set-back bar leaves the dining room's open floor plan undisturbed.   With an extensive menu of Japanese fare, Linn has entered the neighborhood culinary fray with many Astorians prematurely proclaiming the restaurant a cut above J.J.'s sushi offerings.  Served in traditional Japanese wooden blocks, the fluke is a delicious foray into freshness and flavor.  Not to be outdone, the tuna sashimi is quite appetizing with its aubergine hue but disappointingly expensive, ringing up Manhattan prices for outer borough quality.  

Beyond price considerations, diners are cautioned against venturing beyond the realm of raw fish.  The spicy Japanese beef curry leaves you wondering if they gathered their ingredients from a canned goods charity drive.  With three small morsels of tough meat, the "curry" arrives in the form of Campbell's cream of mediocrity soup minus even the most feeble attempt at seasoning.  

Linn's cuisine is uneven at best, with higher quality dishes veering into exorbitant prices while the remainder of the menu languishes in a purgatory of blandness.  A different spin on the typical sushi restaurant is appreciated (cinema and curved ceilings), but Astoria will have to continue holding its breath for another Japanese rival worthy of J.J's comparisons.  

INFO:

Linn

2913 Broadway 

(718) 204-0060

Restaurant Opening: Bare Burger

Do you hear that crunch under your feet? That's the sound of vegan hippies coming to terrorize your neighborhood with the likes of dancing circus bears wielding precariously perched all-natural ingestables.  Or at least that's what the lone, die hard burger stalwarts will say once Bare Burger opens soon on the corner of 34th Street and 31st Avenue.  

The rest of us will immediately begin worshiping at the altar of beer-bearing bears (sorry) once we discover what they mean by organic "snacks". One thing's for sure: Astoria is in need of a creatively themed restaurant that keeps sustainability on par with savory food.   Judging by the care they've taken in branding the joint, we're feeling recklessly optimistic!

Restaurant Opening: Cafe Ole

Some names seem destined to be accompanied by an exclamation point and jazz hands.  If the onslaught of spring weather and intermittent sunshine is not enough of a reason to dance, Cafe Ole(!), near the Kaufman movie theater, should do the trick.  With what appears to be an expansive roof deck and accented exterior, this new Latin joint seems poised to fill the Spanish-tapas-lounge void that higher temperatures always seems to create.  No word on exactly when the unveiling will be, but we're guessing in time for the mercury to rise.  Ole!

Himalaya Teahouse

Astoria seems awash in all kinds of culinary treasures: butcher shops, seafood markets, produce stands, sidewalk cafes.  But coffee shops have never been the neighborhood's strong suit.  Alas, there's another option that awaits you on 31st Avenue: a tea house.  Steeped in tradition, the Himalaya Teahouse honors its roots (the owner Gwen is from Tibet) through an extensive offering of teas and light Asian-tinged fare.  With deep blue walls lined in Tibetan rugs and vibrant splashes of colors dripping from the walls, the tea house is an uplifting place to relax, work or chow down on some delicious chili-doused dumplings.  

The staff is small (one server, one cook) but exceedingly helpful while the menu runs the gamut from soups and salads to stir fry and soba noodles.  The beef dumplings are generously portioned out and, while slightly plain-tasting on their own, come drenched in a tasty, tongue-tingling chili sauce.  Kim Chee is also offered as is stir fry dishes involving the usual meat and vegetables suspects.  The soba noodle dish is a mild tasting but well-executed stab at the East-West fusion they aspire to.  In terms of tea, the Coconut Caribbean is a luscious drink that smacks of dessert while the Red Chai at Night is a delightfully rich foray into more musky flavors.  All in all, the Himalaya Teahouse aims high with fair prices, great service and delicious food.  If you're looking to kick back in a soothing environment and be lavished in teas, spices and exotic sauces, you've found the right place.  

INFO:

Himalaya Teahouse

3317 31st Avenue

(718) 777-7450